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Blogging so my kids can read about themselves when they are older, as I may still be too traumatised to talk about it.

No matter what, you shoud make time for books - Argus Friday 22nd April 2016

Posted Tuesday 26th April 2016   By Ericka Waller

SO, big news. I’ve decided to start a book club. Well actually two book clubs. One for the children at my daughter’s school and another one with my friends. However, when I went round with my invites, nearly everyone I spoke to seemed incredulous I had the time for such frivolity. “I’m too busy to read!” they proclaimed, shocked and appalled at my suggestion. “What do you think I do all day?” Um, check Facebook (I whispered to myself as I slunk away, ashamed by my obvious life of leisure. Not only do I have time to read, I have time to talk about reading too). I since found out, the average British internet user, (according to a study by GWI), spends an hour and 20 minutes per day ‘managing four individual social network accounts’, AKA – checking Facebook. If they dedicated some of this time to reading an actual book, maybe they could then post something interesting online, rather than commenting on what they had for dinner, LOL’ing at a cat getting stuck in a shoe or completing online quizzes about what kind of drunk they are.*

Sorry Julian, but our Pier is still 'off the hook' - Argus Friday 15th April 2016

Posted Monday 18th April 2016   By Ericka Waller

SO Julian Caddy, MD of the Brighton Fringe Festival, has launched a scathing attack on Brighton Pier, calling it 'a blot on the landscape' and claiming there are no end of people willing to 'spend their money in a cheap amusement arcade, before heading back to their coaches via Sports Direct and Primark'. If they are so willing, why not leave them be? The Pier is an institution. People go on it because they want candyfloss so sweet it makes your teeth tingle, gobbled in greedy gulps after fish and chips drowned in vinegar. The briny, sugary sludge is essential stomach swilling fodder for the (rickety) Crazy Mouse and Turbo Coaster rides. No Pier trip is complete without going on the Ghost train, or through the arcades. Who can walk past the penny machines without thinking that their ten pence might be the one to tip a tower of coppers and penny sweets over the edge? Who can resist the smell of fried donuts? or Rock in the shape of a giant dummy? A fortune teller's tripe and a 'kiss me quick' hat? People come from all over the county to experience the pier. I was stood next to two lads in the queue at the Science Museum in London last week, who were green with envy at us being so close to its gaudy glamour ''Its sick there man. Off the hook'.

A couple of bad decisions and we're homeless - Argus Friday April 8th 2016

Posted Monday 18th April 2016   By Ericka Waller

So Worthing and Adur Council have decided to introduce new Public Space Protection Orders (PSPOs) making it possible for the police and local authority officers to give beggars on the spot £50 fines. Daniel Humphreys, Worthing's Conservative Council pushed for the news laws claiming there have been a rise in 'aggressive begging'. In fact, only yesterday he experienced an example of such behaviour but 'Couldn't give any details'. He has also hinted that his poor poppet of a daughter could be scared of going into town because of the aggressive begging. 'I am a 36-year-old man and confident, but I can see the perspective of other people who could be intimidated' Perhaps he should try and see the perspective of the homeless people relying on our kindness to survive, and how the laws are the equivalent of pest control. I believe we are all a couple of bad decisions away from being homeless. I have seen friends on the verge of vagrancy. I have spent a lot of time with the homeless people in Brighton. On our monthly Friday night dates, my husband and I do a late night coffee and burger run down North Street. I can't walk past people bundled in sleeping bags, myself full of overpriced food and not feel guilty, not feel the weight of the change in my handbag, that could help.

Why not nurse your new baby yourself Jamie - Argus Friday 25th March 2016

Posted Wednesday 6th April 2016   By Ericka Waller

SO Jamie Oliver has decided to turn his attentions to our breasts. I wonder if this genius idea came before or after his wife announced she was pregnant again. Obviously it’s not enough that the little darling will have ‘pukka’ healthy lunches when he starts school. Jamie wants the baby to eat well from the get-go. As a woman, who has endured the agony and discomfort of breastfeeding (as well as the lovely bits) I’m slightly confused as to why Jamie (not a woman) feels he has a clue what he is on about. 'It's easy, it's more convenient, it's more nutritious, it's better, it's free,' he crooned, in his best ‘mockney’ voice.

Keeping healthy is too technical and dangerous - Argus Friday April 1 2016

Posted Wednesday 6th April 2016   By Ericka Waller

So Easter has been and gone. According to my eldest daughter it was 'eggcellent', and according to my middle daughter, 'Cheesus died on Happy Monday nailed to a hot cross bun'. She's been here before that one. As promised, I ate far too much chocolate, so was relieved to read that eating a portion of pulses a day will prevent me from piling the pounds. This is partly because they are nigh on impossible to digest and leave one too full of wind to want seconds however. No doubt next week there will be contradicting evidence about the benefits of beans. In the last week alone I've read that Rosemary could help you live to 100, a vegetarian diet raises the risk of heart disease, then that 'pulling' coconut oil through your teeth for twenty minutes a day can cure all of the above, and more. In fact there is nothing coconut can't do. Everything from cancer to candida can be cured by cracking open a hairy brown shell. Just as well they are more easily available these days, and in a handy oil based form.

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