Things I will do to my kids when they are older...

Posted Tuesday 10th July 2012   By Ericka Waller

And I'll enjoy every second of it

1: When I go round to their houses, after taking my coat and shoes off and slinging them on the floor, (preferably so they trip over them) I will demand a drink IMMEDIATELY.

2: I will then refuse to drink out the cup I am offered, and the following three cups after that. I may also change my drink choice a couple of times too.

3: I will ask them for a lift, sit in the back of the car, kick their seat and ask if we are there yet, when, we are at the end of the road.

4: I will also shout "GO" loudly at traffic lights, so they move before the light goes green. This is in between making them stop repeatedly for a wees which I don't need.

5: I will ask them to make my favourite dinner, and then announce I no longer like it, once it's been placed in front of me.

6: I will ask for Dora the Explorer to be put on the telly, and demand they do the dance with me. If they refuse to, I will lay on the floor and howl, then kick them and pull their hair, then demand a cuddle and a cup of tea.

7: I will ring them up every twenty minutes all night long, just to make sure they are still there. I may moan my pillow is uncomfortable, my cover is itchy and ask if it's "the day" yet?

8: When we go out together, I will walk in front of them and keep stopping with no warning, and for no apparent reason. When I get tired of walking, I will sit on the floor and demand to be carried.

9: I will hide their sky remote.

10: And their car keys.

11: I will ask to play on their phone, erase all their numbers and drop it behind the sofa.

12: I will take all my clothes off just before we are due to go somewhere.

13: I will ask them to read me a book which I already know off by heart, repeatedly.

14: I will put apples in their washing machine and turn it on a long hot cycle.

15: I will put their clothes on for fun.

16: I will ask why, or why not? to everything they say to me.

17: I will shout "No, NEVER" when they ask me to pass them something.

18: I will tell them they did all these things to me when they were kids.

19: I will tell them they were the best days of my life.

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