Why my husband refuses to get the snip

Posted Friday 23rd November 2012   By Ericka Waller

It's been in the news that the number of vasectomies has halved in the last ten years. It seems less and less men and "manning" up and taking one for the team.

So the number of vasectomies has halved in the last 10 years. Perhaps it’s not just my husband who thinks that if he goes for the snip he will come home minus his “man power”.

He thinks that the second they tie his tubes he will instantly speak in a higher voice and not be able to lift heavy items.  “I’ll be docile and shy, like a dog whose just had a haircut” he said.

Sounds excellent to me. It would be lovely if one person in this noisy, crazy, bossy house just did what they were bloody told without cajoling, bribing, shouting or sobbing.

My husband is a very “I am man” man. When we discussed having children, he imagined lots of brawny boys he would be able to teach sports to (but still be able to beat).

Imagine then, his surprise when Thing-one turned out to be a girl, and his slightly flat response when Thing-two also came out minus a willy. But that was OK. We always wanted three kids. Third time was going to be lucky.

Let’s just say luck must be a lady.

To be fair to him, he does try very hard with the girls. He took them out last weekend to play football, but all they wanted to do was rub mud over their scooters and then go and clean them in a puddle. Personally, I can see why this was a more appealing prospect than having Sargeant-Major-dad trying to teach them how to do headers.

So he is adamantly refusing the snip. He thinks there is a boy in us somewhere. I don’t agree, and I don’t think my body could take the battering that comes with trying to produce one.

Plus, I think it’s about time he took some shame in his game. I’ve had to show my fanny, bottom and breasts to more doctors, nurses, midwifes and students than I’ve had hot dinners. He can go and get his lad out in public. He can feel some pain in his nether regions. I (hope I) am not a sadist, but I’d love to see him walking a bit gingerly.

It would also be the only time any of us could beat him at anything.

* What the scientists say about gender selection. Sounds like a lot of fannying around to me.  Excuse the pun.

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