My Valentine gift to you

Posted Thursday 14th February 2013   By Ericka Waller

What do I buy for the man who counted my piles after I gave birth? And then applied cream on them and used dried fruit to show their progress? All of this without a hint of distaste (although I've never seen you eat a raisin since).

What do I buy for the man who has never, in thirteen years, been late to meet me? Who swore blind that my bum was no bigger throughout my pregnancies, even though the vast dent left in the sofa suggested otherwise?

What do I buy for the man who researched my dream course, convinced me to give up my work, and my income, to enroll, bought me a car so I could get there, and made my packed lunch each day?

What do I buy for the man who cried as much as I did when I lost my dear friend - not for his own loss, but for mine.

What do I buy for the man who gives me the best bit of the chicken? Orders the other desert I also want and gives it to me? What do I buy for the man who always gets up at night with our children? Who knows their favourite cups and friends and songs and shoes. Who buys them posh pyjamas because they feel soft?

What do I buy for the man who refuses to quit till he knocks down all the tin cans on the Pier and wins me that coconut? What do I buy for the man who gave my brother a lift to the airport at 5am on a Sunday?

What do I buy for the man who noticed how much I was enjoying my book and so bought me all the author's other books as a surprise? What do I buy for the man who cut the cord, bought me my dream house, and let me fill it with crochet, which I know he hates?

What do I buy for the man I've been emailing since I was 15, and never once not had a response from?
What do I buy for the man who listens to all my gibberish, who knows when I am due on and does not mention my short temper, but does bring home more chocolate?

What do I buy for the man who always makes the girl's packed lunches, even when he has been working a sixteen-hour day? What do I buy for the man who dresses up a princess, a pirate, a gruffalo, a wizard? Anything to make us laugh. Whose giant fingers wrestle with plaits and pony-tails when it's his turn to do the school run?

What do I buy for the man who will never show how he longs to be at the side of a football pitch not a tea-party? What do I buy for the man who never laughed through my ten failed driving tests? Who knows I failed TEN times and STILL lets me drive his posh car?

What do I buy for the man who keeps his head when all about him, his family lose theirs (with regularity)? What do I buy for the man who won't admit how bad my cooking is (explaining the Tabasco sauce he's drowned it in merely enhancing the delicious flavour)?

What do I buy for the man who de-ices my car, sweeps the drive, takes out the rubbish, locks the door, tucks me in? What do I buy for the man who makes me tea each morning, made with tea-leaves just how I like it?

What do I buy for the man who can fit us all on his back, or in his big strong arms? For the man who refuses to admit the skin on my tummy looks like a pair of testicles when I bend over. The man who spends hours instead, researching scar serums?

What do I buy for the man who calls me princess first thing in the morning? What do I buy for the man who hair-removes my moustache?

What do I buy for the man who constantly strives to be better? What do I buy for the man who has been holding my hand all these years yet still knows how to make me catch my breath?

What do I buy for the man who has always trod carefully because he knows he treads on my dreams? What do I buy for the man who says he wants for nothing because in us he has all he ever wanted?

I'll buy you nothing, husband, for nothing could be good enough. There is nothing in this world as good as you.

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