How a man deals with toddler tantrums

Posted Monday 11th March 2013   By Ericka Waller

So I got to know Jamie when we battled it out to win the Babycentre blogging competition 2012. Annoyingly, even though he did not win, his blog is so bloody good they gave him the gig anyway.

Jamie is a stay-at-home-dad, keeping it real in a world of lactating, period pains and lipstick. He blogs at onemanandaweebairn. Check him out. In the meantime, enjoy him right here.

I have entered a new stage of life. It’s a stage that, as it goes on, will more than likely force little grey hairs to sprout from the top of my head and leave my very being crying out in pain. This stage is the tantrums stage. To give you some background, I’m a stay-at-home-dad who has a 16 month old son. He’s a good lad but recently has taken to dropping to his knees and crying like a footballer when asked to do something he doesn't want to do. This has been happening more and more in public and depending what mood I’m in my reaction to his best impression of being shot by a sniper varies.

I realise that many of you reading this will say “So? My child does this too and you don’t see me moaning.” That’s fair enough but I’m moaning. So as I stood yesterday waiting for the wee man to move his arse, I thought up some prime questions that might help with dealing with his theatrics. So here goes.

1.       Do you love your child? If your answer is yes then move onto question 2. If your answer is no then move to question 5 and I hope you find some love somewhere.

2.       How much time do you have available to you? For me if it’s first thing in the morning then fine I can wait a while but if it’s close to Countdown and Rachel Riley time then he’s getting moved quick smart.

3.       How many people are watching you? Important question. If the answer is none then you can imitate that advert where the mum rolls around on the floor taking the mick out of her child or you can just shout as loud as you want because there’s no one there to judge you. If there are people around then the quiet but stern voice will come out.

4.        Is this place safe enough to leave them as I walk off in frustration that my life’s gone so horribly wrong? We are told constantly in the press that we live in a dreadful world where our children are in danger every day. If in doubt refer to question 3. If there’s no one around to judge, life is good.

5.       Finally, Is it too early to have a drink? Refer to questions 1,2,3,4 and see how flexible your morals are.

I will let you know how successful I am with this line of thinking. The safe money is ‘not very’.