I'm electric - and a bit bald

Posted Sunday 3rd March 2013   By Ericka Waller

So I’ve been having trouble sleeping.

Not because of my nocturnal children, and not because of my life-of-pi(les). No, the reason I have been having trouble sleeping is something far girlier and sillier.

My hair has been coming out. In spades. OK not spades, but in long clumps.  I started to notice it a few weeks ago and it’s been getting worse. Last week I was in the shower and it looked like that scene out The Ring (horror film) where the woman started coughing up on long straggly hair.

Don’t panic. I am not being pursued by an evil spirit. It’s my hormones, or maybe the fact that I’ve over-coloured my hair too many times.

I started taking “Hair, Skin and Nails” tablets and sleeping with elaborate conditioners slathered on my head, tightly concealed under a clingfilm wrap. My husband said it was like going to bed with a giant condom. And none of it worked. I began to look more and more like Bobby Charlton.

I stopped brushing, and took to “patting” my hair in shape.

But then school-run-mums started to notice, and that’s when I knew it was time to get serious. No one wants to be at the wrath of school-run-mum comments. I’ve seen perfectly intelligent, confident, capable women reduced to quivering wrecks under their eagle-eyed gazes and under-the-breath comments.

So I called Electric Hair. I first went to them before my wedding. I wanted somewhere that specialised in “hair-up” and heard they were the best in town.  I was expecting a small bird-like girl with pink clips in her hair. What I got was William Ackerley. Six foot four of sheer, manliness. How, how are your giant fingers ever going to be able to put my hair up? I wondered. Then he showed me the photos of his alter-image... Delores.

Ok, I thought, maybe he does know something about girly hair.

So anyway, I fell in love and have been going to see them ever since. But this time it was both Will AND Mark Wollley, the salon owner who sorted me out. I tried to play it cool, but hell – Mark does Paloma Faith’s hair, he is best mates with Gok. They do Gok's Style Secrets together on Channel 4.

He wanted to chop off all my locks and give me an 'Anne Hathaway crop'.  I imaged the school-run-mums ("She is no Anne Hathaway") and declined. He did sort me out my battered bangs though, and as he did he gave me these top tips for mum-hair

1: Don’t sleep in conditioners or masks with clingfilm over your hair like a giant condom. Quite often treatments contain an enzyme which forces the cuticle open. If you don’t wash it off it will not close again and could encourage more breaking. So you'll look like a knob for nothing, literally.

2:  When your hair starts snapping off, go and get it cut, or the weak hair will carry on splitting and damage the better hair at the root. If you get it cut, you can “seal” it and stop it getting worse. If you can, go to an Electric Salon, where they know what they are doing, and serve you wine.

3: Use good products. They are expensive, but they work. Mark sent me home with a bag of Electric Hair’s own products to try out. I’ll keep you updated.

Now all I need is Mark to give Gok a wee tinkle and get me a mum-makeover. Oh how the school-run-mums would hate that.

Hair I am, looking bit more normal. Cheers Electric.

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