Why you should never correct your child's speech

Posted Tuesday 28th May 2013   By Ericka Waller

I love it when the Things pronounce their words wrong. I never correct them. Instead I often go the other way and start mispronouncing it too.

Our remote-control is called the ‘make-ron-troll’.

Scissors are cutters.  Rabbits are ‘bat-bats’. Kellogs Shreddies are ‘Freddies’. Cornflakes are ‘chicken-corn’.

If the children are good they get a ‘Kindle-egg’ or ‘dinner-in-the-window’ (MacDonalds).

Sometimes if they laugh too much a little ’fast’ comes out.

If it’s nice weather we go on ‘pick-micks’. If it’s cold we go ‘slipping’ (sledging).

The girls are very jealous I go to a ‘party’ every Tuesday (pilates). When I am going somewhere posh I wear my ‘nicelets’ (bracelets).

If it’s cold my ‘pickles’ get hard (when I was pregnant I had to wear ‘pickle-pants’ (breast-pads).

The best bit of going on holiday is staying in a ‘show-and-tell’ (hotel).

They refuse to go on the alligators in shopping centres (elevators).

They always look out for ‘dog-cracks’ on the pavement.

The laundry basket is called Mac. (This comes from me actually. When I was a child we had a furry cover for our laundry basket. My mum named him Mac. Over the years his nose fell off, and his beret hat-lid grew threadbare. One of his eyes got eaten by the dog and his left flipper was ripped off in a bundle. He eventually got replaced by a normal laundry basket, but the name stuck forever more. I bloody loved that laundry basket.)

I actively encourage song words to be mixed up. There’s nothing I love more than people singing the wrong words to things.

“This old man, that old bum, he played nicky-nackky on my mum”

“Head, shoulders, cheese and clothes, cheese and clothes.”

“Have you seen the muffling man, the muffling man, the muffling man?”

” One two three four five, once I caught a fish I like”

Call me cruel, but it’s one of my favourite bits of parenting. In a world where I constantly have to listen to other parents taking it all too seriously, I delight in the ridiculous conversations we have over dinner.

“I ate all the trees” (broccoli).

” I love chicken perterfy” (nuggets. Don’t ask).

“Ava can’t eat perturfy because she is a dead-a-tarian” (vegetarian).

I know that all too soon my Things are going to be correcting me “No-one says cool anymore mum, just saying.” and all that rubbish. I’m making the most of being ‘down-with-it’ while I can.

Cuppatea anyone?

What are your favourite mispronunciations?