Mother's day moaning

Posted Tuesday 25th March 2014   By Ericka Waller

Who thinks of Mother's Day presents? Not mothers that's for sure. I'm one and the last thing I'd try to flog at an overinflated price is a 'mani-pedi' machine. Who wants to be reminded of the hard callouses on their feet on Mother's Day, or given a tool so they can hack away at it. Not even a poxy voucher for someone else to do it for them! Doesn't that just say it all? 'Here's another thing you are not keeping on top off mum, but to show you I love you, I've bought you a file so you can crack on. Then when I get in bed with you at 2am your scaly trotters won't cut my little legs.'

Last year the husband let the children pick my presents. I got some pink rubber gloves with yellow fluffy cuffs and the word MUM written on them in diamante stones (to remind me I am the only one who uses them?) and a kitchen brush with a smiley face painted on it.

It was the only thing smiling all day.

"You miserable old cow", I hear you say "'it's the thought that counts" but what thought is there in buying something just because it has MUM written on it?  This Morning's TV show were advertising Mother's Day toasters. How kind! Is that so we can make our own bloody breakfast in bed then change the crumby sheets after?

I just saw an ad for a 'hiccuping housework set'.  For just £25 you can buy the woman who gave up her pelvic floor and career for you, a cheery red microfiber mitt, matching tea towel and a bottle of Cava. 

Lucky old us hey?

All I want for Mother's Day is no arguments and clean house (but not done by me)