May 2014 Archive

It's not even 9am and I've lost the will to live

Posted Thursday 29th May 2014   By Ericka Waller

I knew it was going to be a bad day when the first thing I did was wee on the cord of my dressing gown. I didn’t realise until I was walking downstairs and wondered what the cold, wet thing slapping against my leg was... “Ah, it’s my dressing gown cord, covered in my own urine.”

10 top things about your husband leaving you

Posted Thursday 22nd May 2014   By Ericka Waller

1: You can do a jigsaw, wearing (his, well, mine now) head-torch, without anyone taking the piss out of you.

Who is your secret crush?

Posted Monday 19th May 2014   By Ericka Waller

Some people have a crush on Ryan Gosling, or George Clooney. Not me, I have a crush on the reception teacher at my daughter’s school. She is amazing. She has this voice which just blows me away. It stops kids in their tracks like they’ve been shot with a stun gun. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Are your children too honest

Posted Tuesday 13th May 2014   By Ericka Waller

So yesterday I let Thing-One pick my outfit for a child’s disco party. “Mummy, you look so beautiful like that” she cooed at me. I felt a bit ‘done up’ in my too-tight and too-short mini-skirt teamed with a huge mohair jumper, but she assured me I looked like a princess.