September 2014 Archive

One for my baby

Posted Monday 29th September 2014   By Ericka Waller

My youngest daughter is three on Wednesday. It does not seem possible. It does not seem fair. Hundreds of pounds and hours went into preparing me for my wedding day, but I’ve never felt more beautiful than the night I delivered her, covered in blood and sweat. The ex-husband looked at me in awe as I birthed her in blue moonlight, pain-relief free. I breathed her out, sung her out, roared her out.

A trip on Brighton Pier - How to become bankrupt in less than an hour

Posted Tuesday 23rd September 2014   By Ericka Waller

So, as a treat to the girls for doing so well in their first week at school, I decided to time a visit from my parents with a trip to Brighton Pier. “Oh smashing” said dad, “I can have some jellied eels.” “And we can have candyfloss and go on the horsey ride” squealed Thing-One in glee. “And I can stay home and do some gardening!” said mum, looking at the Telegraph crossword.

Confessions of a mother inferior

Posted Monday 22nd September 2014   By Ericka Waller

A laugh-out-loud tale of love, betrayal, friendship, baking and loss. Peta's best friend is dead, her kids poo in public and now her husband might be shagging his secretary. Read the first chapter here...

Preparing for the school run

Posted Wednesday 3rd September 2014   By Ericka Waller

So I have one week left before school starts. One week to get the girls to fall asleep before 10pm, get up before 9am, wear both knickers and socks, not one or the other. I have one week to iron Thing-two’s school labels into her starchy clothes. One week to get my head around the fact she is even starting school. Today I watched her swimming. She floats on her back in the water like a lily, like a star, like she’s peacefully asleep.

Accepting being a single parent

Posted Tuesday 2nd September 2014   By Ericka Waller

Once, when in a madcap mood, I read the girls a Fireman Sam compendium in a Welsh accent. It was fun the first time. They can’t tell the difference between Welsh and Indian inflections which helped. I regret it dearly. Now they want me to do it every single night “Talk funny again mummy” they say sitting up expectantly and passing me the (huge) book.

Why do 'real' women have to be fat?

Posted Tuesday 2nd September 2014   By Ericka Waller

So there is a new trend sweeping Twitter. Photos of women who you would not “normally” see in a bikini (ie; not a size 0) taking selfies and tagging them #fatkini. Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s great. I think all shapes and sizes should be celebrated, but why label these larger women ‘real’. Does that mean I can’t be, because I don’t have any junk in my trunk?

A story of nudity

Posted Tuesday 2nd September 2014   By Ericka Waller

So I can’t get my kids to keep their kit on. This love of nudity has nothing to do with me. I do not enjoy skipping about knicker-less. I can’t anyway, there would be nothing to stick my Tena-Lady to. I’d have to try and source one of those old Doctor White Sanitary belts my mum told me horror stories about