July 2015 Archive

I survived my caravan holiday

Posted Tuesday 14th July 2015   By Ericka Waller

So I did it. I went away for a week with my whole family, and we all made it back alive. Seven people in a small caravan was um, interesting. It’s amazing the things you notice when sharing a confined space with someone. My brother, for example, has the heaviest, stompiest walk ever. Who knew? He does now, because I informed him of it on day three, when I’d almost got the children to sleep after two hours of trying. “Off to get another cider are you?” I bellowed. “Why don’t you walk a BIT LOUDER?”, so he did. He also gave me a dead arm on the way. I went to dob him in to mum but she had locked her caravan when she saw me coming. My children (and me) were so over-excited and poorly behaved that no one wanted us about.

I'm (finally) no longer broody

Posted Tuesday 14th July 2015   By Ericka Waller

So I never thought it would happen, but my milk has finally gone. I can squeeze my right nipple as hard as I like, it’s as dry as the desert. This must mean one thing, I’ve finally stopped being broody. I still admire pregnant women and remember with a fondness, the feeling of my baby moving inside me, but then, from nowhere, I remember, with even more clarity, the horrendous piles I had. I don’t miss them. Nor do I miss heartburn, backache, livid stretchmarks appearing each time I moved, or my insatiable need for cheese.